Twenty-two years ago today my brother, Dane, came bursting through our mother’s birth canal with gusto, and in an instant, my entire life as an only-child was ruined. Ruined!
I’m just kidding around. Everyone knows only children are weird. Dodged that bullet.
Anyway, Happy Birthday, Dane!! I love you so much, dear brother.
Even though that one time I wouldn’t stop “opera singing” while you were practicing piano. It was the first time you said the word “bitch” and my blackmailing you because of it was kind of evil.
See how both of us look so alike but also really, really bad all at the same time? That’s because we are brother and sister. Forever and ever. Cut us some slack though – we hadn’t seen a shower in days and our mom made us wear those headbands. She’ll deny it, but it’s true.
Anyway, enjoy your day, brother!
The older you get, the more I like you. Cheers.